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Teaching And Learning

Winter, 1998 -- skills:

Listening: Heart, Eyes and Ears

Humor and Stress: Laugh Cry Cry Laugh

Listening: Heart, Eyes and Ears

Listening is a critical social skill. It is fundamental to expressing empathy, and it is vital for effective communication.

Interpersonal (between people) communication is a partnership, a team effort. Together the team has to make sure many steps are completed. It is like launching a space ship -- there are all these checks, and steps, and procedures to make sure all the systems are working. In informal communication we usually don't say, "The radio is working and I can hear you." ("over.") -- but we do check. We check with our eyes, ears and hearts.

For example, "Bob" and "Joan" are talking, and Bob gets so excited about an idea, he doesn't notice that Joan is no longer listening.

Yes, Joan has some responsibility here, but Bob has failed to listen with his eyes. He did not see Joan's message; he did not take care of his team member, and the communication failed.

Survey:

How to teach listening

- Demonstrate body language and have kids decide what it means.
- Practice "listening" with eyes and hearts.
- Check for understanding of non-verbal messages. "Did you see the way your mom was shaking her head? What did that mean?"

Foundation for a "listening" classroom or family

- Create time for listening to children. Just listen, nod, say "ohhh," or "hmmm." This models the importance of listening and validates the child's communication.
- Avoid "cross talk" -- if Sue says "I feel hurt," don't say "But I didn't hurt you." Otherwise, you are calling Sue a liar.
If you are Sue, you should be able to say, "When you said you didn't hurt me, I felt like you called me a liar. Is that what you meant?"

Using listening in behavior intervention

- Actively say what you are hearing. "I hear that you are____" "I see that you are___"

- Verbalize emotional & physical communication - don't rely on body language and nuance.

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Laugh Cry Cry Laugh Laughter and tears go together. Both relieve stress and provide a needed balance between our feeling-brains, our thinking-brains, and our bodies. Sometimes we can not tell if we need to laugh or cry... and the freedom to laugh brings us from sorrow to joy.
	Research
		Dr. William Fry, Stanford University, and Lee Berk, Loma Linda Medical School, discovered a bio-chemical reaction to laughter. Laughter boosts white blood cell (WBC) activity. WBC activity is critical for the body's production of neurotransmitters needed for alertness and memory. Laughter also reduces stress and increases creativity.
		Karen Bullock, UCSD, Robert Adler and Nicholas Cohen, U Rochester, Sandra Levy, Pittsburgh Cancer Institute, and Norman Cousins have all investigated the effect of humor on illness and wellness. Humor helps maintain the maximum functioning of your immune system. Laughter reduces the sedimentation rate (measure of inflammation), enhances respiration, increases number of immune cells, decreases cortisol, and increases natural endorphins (mood enhancers).

	How to teach laughter
		- Tolerate, even enjoy, "kid" humor - Use taste and respect the cutting power of sarcasm. - Introduce "rituals" and practices for humor (warm-ups, transitions, breaks).
	Foundation for a "laughing" classroom or family
		- Create time for humor. - Invite the quirky, the whimsical, the silly - Look upside-down.
	Using humor in behavior intervention
		- Soften the edge. - Laugh at yourself. - Laugh at situations not people. - Invite laughter during conflict and tears.

email your comments, questions, and letters to editor@eqtoday.com

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