A Girl's Place
is in the Universe

In case you missed it, the full text of "A Girl's Place part one" is on the web.

"Critic"
The second voice which appeared among Girls' Group participants was the "critic." The "critics" came to Girls' Group with a lot of prior knowledge and experience with gender equity. These girls spoke as if they had talked to other adults about inequities in our culture. They were quick to label learning materials, TV shows, and adults "sexist." Girls' Group was a haven for them, a safe place where they could communicate their ideas about gender inequity. They became more confident about their ideals and gained an historical base for women's accomplishments.

Appreciation of multiple view points was a key area of growth for many of the "critics." They began with a strong commitment to show how inequitable our society is for women versus men. Sometimes, though, they were stuck voicing a "black or white" opinion in a world with many grays. Girls' Group helped many of these girls appreciate that there multiple ways of approaching a problem, and just because someone does not do it your way, they are not contemptible. Really, this was a lesson in empathy. Empathy, as Goleman explains, "is a key social ability" involving "understanding others' feelings and taking their perspective, and respecting differences in how people feel about things" (1995, p. 268). For some girls, then, the group was more helpful because it helped make their voices more effective rather than simply "louder." Clearly, there is a fine line between asking girls to moderate their voices and silencing them, but it also seems that profound listening is critical for genuine dialogue to occur. Each person must leave room for, and have empathy for, a multiplicity of viewpoints.

"Whistle-blower"

The third voice from the girls' responses to the group was the "whistle-blower." The name comes from Brown and Gilligan, who write, "these girls interrupt the surface of calm and quiet of daily life with their insistence on saying what is happening" (Brown and Gilligan, 1992, p. 44). Whistle-blowers challenge assumptions, but not from an aggressive position. They genuinely wonder why. They are open to new possibilities and invite others to rethink and re-envision our culture. They keep us accountable for our action, and for our inaction.

Girls' Group helped the "whistle-blowers" begin to see that the conflicts and confusions they faced were valid. In other words, there is good reason for them to ask their questions, and they are not alone in doing so. Moreover, they began to see that these inequities are not immutable mountains that cannot be moved. Rather, they began to see that many of the inequities are based on old patterns that could be changed by a few people willing to take action. These girls helped me see that questioning is the first step towards change.

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33 Things Every Girl Should Know : Stories, Songs, Poems and Smart Talk by 33 Extraordinary Women
Tonya Bolden (Editor)
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Meeting at the Crossroads : Women's Psychology and Girl's Development
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Reprint Edition, Paperback
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